How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
