..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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