i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize