Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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