2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
