I wanna bring you to show and tell
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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