girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
