well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
