in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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