Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
