Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
