Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
