Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
