im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
