shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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