garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Who wears a wallet chain?!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
