i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
