I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
