I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
