You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
