I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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