you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She just used a chaser for red wine.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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