I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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