A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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