Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
