No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
