Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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