what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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