Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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