peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
