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You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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