i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
