The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she woke up with a sticky ear
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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