38 yer olds are good kisserssss
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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