you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
