He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize