So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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