im holly from the hills drunk
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize