420 ftw
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So many bounce houses so little time
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
