What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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