I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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