watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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