I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
