My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
