Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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