It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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