I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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