i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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