He uses pillows to masturbate.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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