forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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