Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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