loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
