my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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