Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
