Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
