Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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