I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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