he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just pee around me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
