I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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