All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
