This is not my ceiling
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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