I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
