in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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