So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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