so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
