She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
