we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
