How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
