We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
