I want to walk on stilts...naked
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
