Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
