I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Mom said you looked used
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
