You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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